Scotland's Lloyd Saltman has kind of settled after losing two balls into the bar on the opener. Two bogeys and three pars on the back 9 and he's on +7.
Old boy UPDATE after four holes: Nick Faldo (-1 after 2 bogeys, birdie, par), Tom Watson (+2 after 2 bogeys, 2 pars), Fred Couples (on level after birdie and par)
Get puffing folks (although I am in now way endorsing smoking - far from it)...BUT Jimenez rattles in a 20-footer for another birdie. That's his fifth birdie, along with 4 pars, in his opening nine totalling 31. That is a card to wave in the air? Brilliant.
Any player you'd like me to keep an eye on for you? Just a special service I'm offering between 10 and 11 for you at no extra charge.
Another putter that seems to be working today is Justin Rose's and his trusty blade smacks in a 14-footer to save par at the 4th.
What happened to the defending champ? Ernie Els started with a bogey but has hit back with three pars.
Big grin - perhaps it's a smirk actually - on Phil Mickelson and wallops in his first putt for a birdie and he's on -1 after two.
It's been 1,858 days since Tiger Woods last won a major trophy. That's over five years. Reckon he can do it this weekend? He tees off at 1445 BST.
OOOffff. That's position Z according to the commentator. Justin Rose tries to work his ball onto the green at five but it nuzzles into the log grass. Tricky times.
That smile on Mickelson's face is just getting wider and he's two under after back-to-back birdies
Jimenez bangs in a top putt for par on the 10th. Magical pink shirt tucked in tightly to his dark trousers. I think if he was giving it large on the streets of Madrid he'd be untucking the shirt but he's got the confidence to pull it off...seriously. His stroll off the tee is a joy to behold.
Wondering where all the lakes, rivers, ponds are? Mmmmmm no water hazard here at Muirfield. Plenty of rough though and if the wind picks up later, it will cause havoc. But gentle conditions forecast for most of the weekend.
Rose pokes in a one-footer for a fifth par.
Five pars and two birdies for the rock steady Dustin Johnson. -2. Useful start for the American.
Rafa Cabrera-Bello is red-hot. A bogey on the 9th is the only blip so far as the Spaniard bags a fifth birdie at the 11th. He's on -3. Smooth.
Three pars and a bogey for Rory. He's on +1 and his putter is not greased up this morning.
Dustin Johnson also on -3 after a third birdie at the eight.
So where are all you following this? Out and about - at work - anybody in a bar already? In the garden?..let us know...I'd love to hear from you. COMMENTS or @msnsport
Poulter still on level after bogey, par, birdie and three pars.
Rory McIlroy having a bit of a struggle in that cauldron of a bunker on the edge of the fifth green. It scoops onto the edge of the wall and rolls out on to the green. He gets within 12 feet and has a semi-toughie to save par.
Time for a bevvie. Still too early for a whisky in Muirfield fashion? nahh that would be most unprofessional. It's coffee for me...anybody got any biscuits?
OLDIE UPDATE. Tom Watson (+2). Fred Couples has had a horror half an hour. Two pars, bogey and two birdies was a pretty sweet start. THEN...bogey, double bogey, bogey and he's plummeted to +3. Nick Faldo - three bogeys but he's just carded a second birdie to move back to +1.